Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!

Officer: Age?

Husband: I'm not sure. Somewhere between 50 and 60. We don't do birthdays.

Officer: Height?

Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

OFFICER : Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

OFFICER : Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort of brown I think.

OFFICER : Color of hair?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember.

OFFICER : What was she wearing?

Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

OFFICER : What kind of car did she go in?

Husband: She went in my truck.

OFFICER : What kind of truck was it?

Husband : A 1995, manufactured September 16th, Ebony Black 4X4 Ford Bronco with 5.8l 351W engine with Mass Air Flow, K&N Air Filter, led lighting, back up and front camera, custom Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats. There's a custom made console that holds a DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, four cup holders, 3 USB ports, and 4 power outlets. It has a custom matching black softop and Weather Tech floor mats. Custom front and rear bumpers with a 12,000 lb. Warn winch up front. I added special alloy 17x10 wheels and 35" off-road Toyo tires. It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting.
* at this point the husband started choking up.

OFFICER : Take it easy sir, We'll find your truck.