A Bainbridge Island kayaker went missing yesterday afternoon.

His Wife Says He Left the Brownsville Marina Around 2 p.m. Yesterday and Was Supposed to Be Home by Dark: He was found by a Coast Guard helicopter around 11:15 p.m. last night. "It's unknown what went wrong."

SPD Is Having a Hackathon This Friday: "Seattle police are anxious to develop a fast—and inexpensive—way to go through a growing mountain of material and redact sensitive images. The issue has become even more acute as the department is just days away from equipping a small test group of officers with body cameras."

By the Way, Here Are the Rules for Officers Who Will Be Wearing Body Cams: Yes, as we've reported, some cops here will be wearing body cams soon. What at the rules for those? Heidi Groover breaks it down.

The Wenatchee River near Leavenworth, not the best place to hide.

A 28-Year-Old Shoplifting Suspect Jumped into the Wenatchee River: After allegedly stealing two bottles of liquor from a grocery store. He is said to be homeless and "has likely drowned."

A Bunch of Gun Nuts Gathered in Olympia Yesterday: To say they will not comply with the new laws mandating background checks on gun sales. Like, literally, that is their position. "This isn’t a protest. We are here to openly violate this law," said someone who ran for Congress this year in the 4th District.

Speaking of Gun Nuts, the Hostage Situation in Sydney, Australia, Has Just Ended: The gunman and hostage-taker was an "Iranian-born man in his 50s with a criminal record who called himself Sheikh Haron." At least two people are dead, "including the gunman."

The Seahawks did real good yesterday and now everyones like: Oh.

Let's Stop Talking About Guns, Let's Talk About Things That Don't Matter Like Sports: I don't know what the right words are, but everyone seems happy about what the Seahawks did yesterday. All the stories are saying things like "the Seahawks are right where they need to be to be" and "Sometimes you can lose something important that causes you to find something you didn’t know you had," which I'm pretty sure is also the plotline to Into the Woods. (See? Sports and musicals have lots in common.) Also being said: "It was a triumph that improved Seattle’s record to 10-4 and kept them on pace with 11-3 Arizona on the eve of a showdown with the Cardinals on Sunday on the road that figures to determine the NFC West title." I have no idea what any of those words mean, but congratulations, everyone. Stranger Seahawksologist Spike Friedman will be on Slog later this morning to eggsplain.

"Basically, in Cheney’s World, Nothing Americans Do Can Be Called Torture"" If you read nothing else about it, read Amy Davidson's analysis of Dick Cheney's appearance on Meet the Press yesterday. It was kind of a David Frost-ish interview.

The whole cast of A Christmas Story is awesome. Including Jessica Skerritt, second from left.

Can We Talk Theater for a Second? A Christmas Story at the 5th Avenue Theatre Is Totally Worth It: I saw the holiday musical—based on the holiday movie—yesterday and was kinda blown away by how excellent a production it is. Brandon Ivie directs, and all the principal performers are fantastic, including Jessica Skerritt as the mom, Dane Stokinger as the dad, and Mark Jeffrey James Weber as the kid who just wants a BB gun for Christmas. (He woulda loved that rally in Olympia yesterday.) I don't even like dogs and children, but the dogs and children in this show are insanely well trained and actually funny. I hate to say it, but A Christmas Story has more laughs than Homo for the Holidays (sorry, it's true!) and more stage magic than Mary Poppins (which is based on my favorite movie of all time). If you have family in town and you're not sure what to do with them, you're welcome.